Huh, the question of morality and what makes a person a good person. Some of us wonder about these things a lot (which I think is a good start.), but is it enough to think that you’re a good person to be one? I don’t think so.
First, I would want to point out that this my attempt to define not being good, but more as trying to be good person, and that because every point I will make is with out a doubt colored with my own outlook of things.
Some might point out that this entire post is an affirmation of my own desire to be good, so it’ll only natural that I’ll choose elements which will make me feel better about myself. Yes and no, while I do practice the elements I’m going to describe, I do criticize myself with no end that I don’t actually perceive myself as a good person (At least not enough to be considered one by myself.).
- Empathy – One of my go to core values, I believe that the ability to understand what people feel and echo those feelings is quite important to trying to be a good person. As we are social animals, in order for the society to prosper, we need to understand the needs of one another and cooperate.
But this is beyond that, empathy is crucial in understanding that if you do something bad it will hurt someone, and this in turn will make you feel the sadness and pain they experience. If you can empathize with others people when you do that to them, than you are more likely to avoid such a negative behavior in the future.You probably ask “What about people who can’t relate to other people, are they bad?”. While lack of empathy can cause people to do bad things to other, there are people who replace empathy with the understand of a zero-sum mechanic and understand that hurting others is not always logical, or they replace it with people who function as their model for empathy. - Self Retrospection – While understanding the feelings of other people is a good point to start with, I believe that a person needs to think about their actions and inspect why do they feel this way.
There are times that you hurt a person, you might feel bad, but not enough to think your actions as wrong. This is where I think self retrospection comes in. Some times, the ability to look at yourself from outside can shed new light on your behavior and actions and make your realize that what you’ve done can be accomplished without hurting others. - Self Restraint – Might be self explanatory, but I feel like this one should be elaborated on.
Self restraint isn’t a trait that is a must have for trying to be a good person, nor having it means that you’re on the right path, but it is a useful one to have. One of the best examples I can think of that use this element is “Think before you act”. Basically, acting on instinct might produce faster results, but not always the best ones. For example, if you say what you think, you more than risk saying things that will hurt others.
You might argue that using self restraint is good for those who want to hide their own prejudice. And I will agree that it’s not a perfect method, but it can be used for considering the consequences of your own action. - Be Responsible for Your Actions – I don’t think that I will need to elaborate much on this, as this one is pretty straight forward. If you choose do do anything, make sure that you take responsibility and don’t throw it on anyone else. Sure, there are times when a force majeure dictates the results of your actions, nothing can’t be done about that, but be sure that it was indeed a force behind your control. (I know that some will say that this mind end up causing a person to spiral to self doubt on how to proceed and act, and they won’t be wrong. I still don’t have a complete answer to that.)
- Own and Learn from Your Mistakes – This one is a more specific case of the latter point, but one that I believe deserves an emphasize.
Myself, you and many others make mistakes, nothing to do about it. We’re not perfect beings who can do no wrong. So own your mistake, take responsibility for it and think on how you can make the situation better. Leaving a mistake without addressing it, or worse pinning it on something else, would aggravate the situation more often than not. By taking the mistake and giving it a home of sorts, you show that you can be a responsible person that will work to learn from this mistake, so it the chances that it will happen again decrease.
All the things in the list are what I think (And I emphasize this) needed for at least starting the road of being a good person, and by no mean set in stone (Although I would say that empathy is one that probably should be) . I would say that I believe them to be artificial constructs that are not inherent and must be learned by us. And this is in order to have a better society, where myself, you and all those you hold dear can improve themselves as humans.
Trying to be good for good’s sake is a lofty goal, but I will add that being good so that people be good to you is a more human goal.
Boredom Ensues 